From Coe to Conneaut

Got a new dog.
She's a huntin' dog, baby. Now mind you, we are vegetarian for the most part and we definitely don't hunt, but this dog sure will! She took out one of our chickens pronto, and then stood there with a dead chicken in her mouth not knowing what to do...

Menudo

We found this purebred German Shorthaired Pointer roaming around our country neighborhood and like the nice guy I am, I sent my Pitbull mix, Skunk-a-Doodle, outside to show this roaming dog a thing or two about just who runs the neighborhood.
Much to my surprise, old Skunk not only didn't attack this dog, but she kind of adopted this dog.
So we figured since the old Skank liked her enough, we'd keep her.

Based on the fact that this young female looks to have already had a litter of pups and she's not housetrained and she has callouses on her elbows from laying in a cage constantly, we figure she's an escapee from a puppy mill. We put up some signs, just in case she belongs to a hunter in the area, but nobody's called to claim her.

The wife named her Mandy, but when our daughter came home, she kept dropping the D and calling her Manny. And I like Manny better than Mandy. So we concurred that Menudo would be her official dog name, but we'd call her Manny for short.


Conneaut Creek Collage




And here I'll insert a little rant about how blogger has rendered itself impotent by doing away with the happy, easy-to-use program called Hello. Now all my picture posts are going to be inserted collage-style becausthe blogger HTML editor is amateurish and the photo upload process is antagonizingly slow. How easily and quickly Hello uploaded pictures to blog. How efficiently I was once able to interface and manipulate text and images on my blog.
Now we get one-by-one photo uploading and crappily written HTML. Hello?

Here are some pics of a kayak afternoon on Coe Lake in Berea...



Big Ass Bass

These kids caught a really bigass Largemouth Bass. Already talking like seasoned fishermen,
they told me I shoulda seen the ones they caught earlier.

Do ya think Coe Lake fish are safe to eat?

Nuptial Knuckleheads

No kayak trip would be complete without crashing a wedding and launching our kayaks.
I did give the groom a dirty look as if to say,
"What the fuck are you thinking, brother? I'll let you use my kayak if you want to row across the lake and make a quick getaway and save yourself..."

But the groom didn't catch my look and is married by now...

At first some big chump tried to tell us we couldn't launch our boats and we were like,
"Oh, cool! You rented the whole lake too?"
And then he shut the fuck up and let us launch our boats...

Gettin' Shittily in Little Italy

Here's just a couple shots from the Taste of Little Italy...

David Lynch Meets Young Tom Cruise

Here's Cleveland Mayoral candidate David Lynch pressing the flesh with our young salesman who I call Young Tom Cruise (think Risky Business or The Color of Money).

I tried to think of a snide movie reference just to be an ass but just wasn't quick enough to quip about Sting's mis-casting in Dune, or the obviously autobiographical nature of Eraserhead.

Friendly Bearded Guy

Here's Cleveland Mayoral candidate Robert Triozzi likewise pressing flesh and looking
artificially somewhat amused.

Two predictions:

1. Robert Triozzi will NOT be the next Mayor of Cleveland.

2. If Robert Triozzi should become the next Mayor of Cleveland thereby invalidating my first super-accurate prediction he will die of a heart attack.

And he will be smiling just as he is in the above photo...

That's A Fucking More Ay

This is the completely bombastic Benny D'Agostino.

I like to refer to him as The Suited Fat Travolta With Hair Plugs.

If you like to listen to Dean Martin-style Italian songs sung out of tune at incredible volume with an accompanying CD playing the big band parts, this is the man for your next wedding or funeral. Fucking unbelievable.

I also have video of Rocco Scotti contorting the Star Spangled Banner into an
unidentifiable a capella incantation. Soon enough I'll figure out how to post video...

Let It Be......rea Arts Fest

Went to the the Berea Arts Fest on Sunday.

This has to be one of the most ho-hum, unchallenging, consumer-oriented mainstream art show ever. Don't look for any challenging pieces or installations here, no no. And definitely don't look for any young, cutting-edge, dynamic Cleveland artists here, either.
But if you're a middle-aged mom from Strongsville who just happens to be good at making crap out of beads or clay or broken glass, well then set your tent up and sell sell sell.



Some of the best art was the kids' sidewalk art.
There were actually some thoughtful 9/11-type tribute pieces chalked on the sidewalk. Lots of peace signs and SpongeBob too.



These were some of the mildly interesting and somewhat creative efforts at this otherwise Cain-Park-Look-Alike-Ish Fest. I think the most challenging thing I saw while I was there was the Pop Shop Art For a Quarter Machine.

I like the idea of quarter art.




And how lucky was I to see the Fake John and the Fake George strutting toward the bandstand to perform Eight Days A Week...



It was hot and uncomfortably crowded with old people and crappy silver earrings and lots of watercolors of barns and trees and waterfalls and stuff and I missed the Browns game for THIS?

Jus the Facts, Ma'am

Because I absolutely love and adore (and some times stare too much at) my girl BG, I choose to accept her tag (as in plaing a game of tag) and will randomly spew forth five things about me or whatever me wants you to think about me...

• I mowed my lawn today using a diagonal trajectory going NNW to SSE. I have a four week mowing pattern so the lines in my lawn are always crissing and crossing. That's two seperate facts in one paragraph. Lucky you, you get six facts.
• Dislikes include three-pronged forks, crusty glass pipes (wipe e'm clean kids, it's easy), people with two first names (Phil Harvey, James Joyce, Larry David, David Bruce, etc...), coffee with cream left in a cup on the counter to develop a thin layer of mold, and people who think they're gonna change the world, but don't know how to change themselves.
• I believe in the power of water. You gotta read Dr. Masaru Emoto to understand.
• I keep four separate piggy banks - divided by coin type, of course.
• Some day I'm gonna have the balls to tell everybody I've ever known everything I always wanted to say to him/her. But right now too much truth hurts...

Even though she may look dark and sinister to most, Bridget always brightens my day. So a slap on the back for you, Ginley. And now I'll continue this silly bloggernet bullshit by tagging...

Shannon Shenanigan

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R3TR0