The Pizza Incident

We had our big pig roast and wine extravaganza at our warehouse this Sunday.
I think we had about 100-125 people. These are just some random shots of drinkers.


Lots of drinking was the game of the day. We probably had close to 100 bottles open, so virtually every person there could have drank his own bottle.

The funniest story I heard was that a trio of young guys came down and were intently tasting the rieslings and were actually high-fiving when they found a really good one.

Who high-fives for good wine?



The food got rave reviews. Unfortunately, I worked so hard I had not the time to get anything more than a cheese plate. The main course was the pig pictured above.


So after we clean up the warehouse and get everything back together, six of us went out to get some beers and cheap bar food. We went to a place in Twinsburg called Rav's Creekside Tap-House. From left to right you see Chuck, Rachel, David, Brian, Lex Luthor, and I'm taking the pics.


So we get a couple pitchers of Labatt and after about fifteen minutes, we order a large pie. And we wait. We made it through about four more pitchers before Rachel started to complain. I mean, I've gotten delivery pizza in less than a half hour, and we made it a full 45 minutes before we started to bitch.



And our poor waitress girl could only make silly excuses while we semi-drunkenly bitch at her. It was a nice kind of bitching, mind you. We finally browbeat her into comping us a pitcher of beer and thusly we were pacified for about seven more minutes.
But Rachel was getting antsy, so at the one hour mark, she decided to go find the chef.



And Rachel went into the back and found the chef/bartender and started giving him an earful and we were informed that Rav's Creekside had not a pizza oven, oh no. They cook their pizzas in a standard, conventional kitchen oven.



And the waitress brought the chef/bartender out to explain the situation and Rachel was demanding the owner's name and phone number and whatnot, and we were kind of drunk and acting like assholes.

And just when we were about to get up and leave (at 1 hour and 15 minutes) the chef/bartender brought out our delicious pie and proudly announced that he'd called the owner, and the owner said the pizza was on the house.




So we take one look at this pizza, and we realize it's still raw underneath. You could actually pick up the pizza pan with your bare hands. And this was after over one hour in the oven!
So when you're pissed and hungry, there's only one logical thing to do...




I cannot say this strongly enough:
If you are in or around the vicinity of Twinsburg, Ohio
and you are hungry
do not
DO NOT
DO NOT
order pizza at Rav's Creekside...

I was looking at some old stuff on ebay and I ran across some McDonalds paraphernalia. Now most of us who grew up with McDonalds remember all the silly characters like Birdie, the Hamburglar, and Grimace. But the one who gets lost in all this is Mayor McCheese.
In fact, it seems as though the McDonalds corporation has distanced itself from Mayor McCheese since the early '80's.
I just want to know what the fuck is wrong with Mayor McCheese and what's a guy gotta do to get some respect for Mayor McCheese?

Wanker

So I've been away for awhile but only mentally and only bloggibly speaking. I mean, I am alive and think I was feeling just sappily melancholy and generally in a who the fuck cares mood. Ya know, it can bum you out a little to work for the man and have business interactions that are, for the most part, lies and manipulations. So I start on that downward spiral where you wake up in a foul mood and alas that is your comfort zone and soon enough it feels uncomfortable to feel positive about your state and you only feel OK when you feel bad. And then you bring all your pals down with you.

So that's where I was but because I control all that I see and all that I don't see, I have risen above it and determined that it's better to be with friends and celebrate than to commiserate. Right before you die, when you're laying on your deathbed or whatever, you'll probably relish even the worst memory of your life and wish you would've put your heart into every second you ever had.And I don't write that to be some know-it-all prophet wanker, but just to say enjoy your life more and be a sour jerkoff less.

So this is, in semi-sequential order, a random smattering of things that I have seen and done while not blogging for a fortnight.

BitterTed

Took Bitter Girl to Blue Point for raw gulp-ables from the sea dripped with lemon juice and dallopped with horseradish. Always a pleasure to see Ted, the Yang to Bridget's Yin or is she the Yang? Ted sells wine but the bottles he sells are bigger.Bigger bottles means better wine.

Witty banter peppered with sullen reminisces of a school career gone horribly wrong was the order of the evening. And it was nice to re-acquaint with Bitter Girl after a long hiatus.


County Fair

Took wife and daughter to the Ashtabula County Fair for a Friday night of unrivaled fun. Since everybody in the world has probably been to a county fair at some point, I'll tell you this fair was just like that one you went to. I must say that deep-fry technology has advanced to the point where virtually everything can now be served fried on a plate or stick. Never saw so many teenage girls dress like HOs in my life.


Friendly Neighbors

Our friend Hilary and her daughter Indigo came over to visit. They live two miles away and also have a farm. They don't own a TV or a washer and dryer.

One time, when my daughetr was going to sleep over at Indigo's house, I asked Indigo what they were going to do late at night. Indigo got all excited and said, "Maybe we'll stay up real late and read some extra books..."
I had to wonder how I could let my innocent child hang out with a ruffian like Indigo.

Fresh Trash

The oysters were Fresh, as was Frankie. The bar was trash.

Boy Schullo and I sat at the tapas bar and ordered up a dozen oysters. They were good and cheap but he wanted a burger, so we went to a trashy bar called Kepner's and got bar food.
All in the genteel hamlet of Hudson, Ohio.

Captain Fantasy

No story just make it up as you like...

Some pictures I took of the moon.
The moon is normally pretty mild-mannered.
I didn't tell the moon I was taking pictures
but the tripod made it pretty obvious.

So there you have it, cats. A simple peek at trying to be simple. I kind of wish I had the energy to be a blog blaster and write page after thrilling page about the state of the world and our town and the good old days and crap, but really I'm trying to take a step back and experience it more and complain about it less, cuz it is what it is and you are who you are until you aren't and you and I make it happen...

Crazy For Crazy Glue

Holy Moses (Cleveland)!

If the Italians can test the water in the Po and figure out the whole country is coked up, I wonder when the Cleveland water officials will determine that Lake Erie is actually 85% Crystal Meth...