Baby Too Cold

I was lucky enough to be on I90 yesterday morning when they Highway Patrl closed her down for about two hours. So after an hour of playing Jawbreaker on my Pocket PC, I decided to snap some pics of the carnage (or whatever was left of the carnage).
Crushed cars, flipped tractor-trailers, lots of cars slid into the median. All the joys of a northern Ohio winter laid upon us before Thanksgiving, even!

Flippin' da Rig






When Big Truck Fall, MOVE YO CAR!!


And that night on the way home about 8pm, I ended up getting stuck in a huge traffic backup in the same spot heading the opposite direction. Turns out there was a whole crew of guys out there cleaning up all the shit that fell out of this flipped over truck and putting it on a flatbed for takeaway. Lots of shards of scrap metal and lumber.

And whatever happened to the band called The Wonder Stuff?

Didn't they suck?

Sensitive Vegetarian Warning

Went to Charles and Hilary's farm for a goat roast Saturday afternoon. Ironically enough, the name of the goat they slaughtered was Crunchy.
This was a slow, lazy, sexist Greek-Stylre roast. The guys stuff the goat with wine, oil, herbs, and feta. Then they sit around by the fire all day and get drunk.
The women stay in the house and cook.
We were nice enough to let the women come outside and drink with us. Alas, the liquor store in Conneaut doesn't sell Ouzo, so the magic just wasn't there...

Crunchy Earns His Nickname




Sarah Lickin' Her Chaw




I tried to think of the proper caption for the above picture, but nothing appropriate came to mind.

Maybe, "Thanks, Crunchy...".


And how did a five year old and an eight year old living out in the country already figure out these ghetto-style cheerleader hoochie moves?

Congratulations to me for going over one month without a blog post! The roof project is about 90% complete and there ain't no snow in Cleveburg yet.
We have managed to get into mid-November without turning our furnace on. My bill this month was actually LESS than last year's bill for October. Ya just gotta get used to wearing three sweaters, smartwools, and a stocking cap in the house. In fact, it's usually warmer outside our house than inside.

Anyway, before I get to actually blogging about anything worth blogging about, I'd like to pre-empt the onslaught of Spamments that will follow within a half-hour of a new post being added. So here are some great Spamments by some people who really, really, REALLY liked my blog:

Wow! Your blog is so informative and cool! You might be interested in my blog about Revivalist Typefaces!!!

I see from your blog that you like dogs and music. Nothing could be more familiar to a dog and music lover than my website. I hope you enjoy!

I have been looking all over the intranet and your site seems to be the best one ever! However, I consider my site to be close to yours in quality and content. Tell me what you think...

There you have it. No need to Spamment me any further. I've pre-Spammented myself. But thanks anyway to all of you who troll the web daily looking for great sites to comment on about how they're really so cool.

On with the show, we can help you...

Must admit, I've had a week of which I remember very little about work. My dear friends Crispy and T-Bud each made some killer baked goods with a special butter I had given them. Crispy made oatmeal bars and T-Bud made rosemary-lavender crackers. So each and every morn I wake up and eat a healthy breakfast and space the day away. Along the way, I've been able to feed the masses of friends and help them all space the days away.

Spaceout time is over, kidz. Let's all gear up for a commercialized Santastic holiday season full of Old Navy jingles and SadSackSantas. Ribbon cut with cleaver and gift wrap burned like your November pay. Long distance drives to see Grandma Wrinkles and Drunk Uncle Blatz stuffing the turkey and creaming the corn. Oil-based sleigh loaded full of diesel and cast Jap plasticrap (now made in Mexico). Salt the steps, salt the walk, salt the ham (spiral sliced, of course) and assault the goddamn bell-ringer standing out front of Wal-Town Shop-A-Daze. Two dollar gas, three dollar gas, thousand dollar gas bills, and all of the above. Take the kiddies crunch-crunching through the tundra to axe-whack a greenly-painted Frazier Fur for $42.50 plus parking. Drive careful now, cuz in Cleveburg when the snow falls, the stupid falls with it. Worry not, dear Northern-Ohio-ers, swuzzling ice-cold Guinness from plastic cups and a windy parade down the Corridor await you in only four months...


And to the sometimes-muse-artiste, I'll throw this back at you because everything I've done a million times before on the Infro-net sometimes seems suddenly new and different than how it always is before.


1. What is your middle name?
E. You'll take a hundred guesses and never know.

2. What color underwear are you wearing now?
Do boxers really count as underwear or are they just a lazy man's swim trunks?

3. What are you listening to right now?
Apples being chopped on the cutting board. It's apple pie day! Plus, wife made me take out the Beta Band cd I was listening to.

4. What are the last two digits in your phone number?
I wish I could honestly answer this with 'Garfield One'...

5. What was the last thing you ate?
From scratch banana pancakes made with Alton Brown's Good Eats recipe.

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Some shade of green. But only the large crayons like the kindy-gardners use.

7. How is the weather right now?
Perfect for harvesting the last of your soybeans.

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Ken Mullins.

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Whether they're really the opposite sex, or are they just foolin'? After that, it's all beauty and nuance.

10. Favorite type of food?
Fish or shellfish, raw.

11. Do you drink?
Yes. Out of cups even!

12. Do you smoke?
Cannabis and the occasional salmon.

13. Ever get so drunk you don't remember what you did?
Not since the hazy, carefree days of Berea High School.

14. Hair color?
That sandy blonde/brown sort of thing the girls go wild for.

15. Eye color?
The vaunted Hazel.

16. Do you wear contacts?
Nay.

17. Favorite Holiday?
July 4th and surrounding days.

18. Favorite Month?
July, probably.

19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
No. There's always been some reason.

20. What was the last movie you watched?
Dear Frankie.

21. Favorite Day of the Year?
July 4th.

22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
The cruel married paradox: Was too shy when I was single. Five years of marriage and I'd love to ask someone (or some-ones) out. I mean, other than asking a buddy to go out to the bar.

23. If you can say something to someone right now what would it be?
"Jump down, turn around, pick a bale of cotton."

24. Hugs or Kisses?
Yes.

25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate.

26. left or right?
Right.

27. Favorite Donut flavor?
Boston Creme.

28. ketchup or mustard?
Mustard. Dijon.

29. What books are you reading?
Fantastic Mr.Fox.

30. Piercings?
Zero to six in HS back to zero now.

31. Favorite Movie?
The Good The Bad and The Ugly.

32. Favorite football Team?
Cleveland Browns Football.

33.What were you doing before this?
Making banana pancakes from scratch.

34. Any pets?
Twelve goats, twenty-five chickens, fifteen ducks, seven cats, two dogs, and one semi-lost rabbit.

35. Wendys or Taco Bell?
Sadly, I must choose the Bell.

36. Butter, Plain, Sweet or Salted popcorn?
Light salt.

37. Dogs or cats?
Dogs.

38. Favorite Flower?
Cannabis Sativa.

39 Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
Yes.

40. Are you taken or single?
Taken. But sometimes I think both me and the wife are working on single.

41. Have you ever REALLY loved someone?
Sure.

42. Who would you like to see right now?
The whole gang of my friends partying down together and causing a ruckus!

43. what's your fav color?
Please refer to the crayon question above.

44. Have you ever fired a gun?
Yes.

45. Do you like to travel by plane?
No. Airports are like commercial gulags.

46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right.

47. If you could be with someone right now, who would it be?
Buddha. I bet that guy had some good answers!

48. How many pillows do you sleep with?
One.

49. Are you missing someone?
The sensible, reasonable portion of myself.

50. Do you have a Tattoo?
Yes.



There you go, kidz. Email this to about 99 of your friends and if they have any sense at all, they'll delete this before it even gets read. But in the interest of Blogsturbation, I hoodwinked myself into doing this.

Now go do something useful, nerd.