The More Things Change

I was sitting at the Ginza Sushi House downtown with Lex Luthor discussing the corruption of Cleveland and how Mike White is basically in the free and clear while all his old cronies fall when Lex busted in about the misery of Wal Mart at Steelyard Commons. I think we had actually started discussing the political attitude toward new business ventures in Cleveland in general; how the city council and mayor talk a good game but in reality they suck shit when it comes to creativity and dynamic thought.
Council has to have their collective hands in every pie by way of union rules, residency requirements, local hiring rules, minority hiring rules, and insanely foolish ploys meant to dissuade capitalist businesses (Read WAL MART et al) from coming to Cleveland. Basically, any business that plans to come to our beloved 'burg and actually turn a profit by cutting costs and hiring low-wage employees may as well be run by the ghost of Rockefeller himself. Apparently Cleveland council somehow got the idea that this is a socialist town where the government bosses decide how to divvy up the profits and say who gets how much.
And conversely, we have a tool of a mayor who would happily give the keys to the kingdom to any business leader who throws a decent fund raiser her way and uses key phrases like 'synergy of resources' and 'bionanowhateverthefuck'. Hell, you wanna start an intramural kickball league on a brownfield? Jane will give you tax abatement for twenty years and a city vehicle to drive...
So back to speaking of the wonderful Steelyard Commons deal. Lex decries the presence of Wal Mart because, he says, we should have manufacturing jobs there.

And I ask, "Like what....? SteelMills...?" Laughing heartily whilst snorting wasabi.
And Lex says something about biotechnology or nanotechnology or some sort of ology and I do retort:

"Choice A: Wal Mart."
"Choice B: Empty old steelmill."

And again Lex begins his footloose and fancy free pipe dreams of landing a technology company like a Microsoft or Cisco or some other type of company that's way too smart to even think about sticking their well-educated asses in Cleveland.
So since we ain't gettin' any bigass cool tech company to come and resurrect the hulking shell of an industry that took too long to die, you'd think Wal Mart might just be suitable.
American company, steady and unspectacular jobs, and better medical care than is offered to most of my friends in the food and wine industries.
But nay, my friends, it seems the majority of the truly 'educated elite' would rather tell those poor brothers who live off Broadway that those jobs ain't worth havin'. It's better to be proud and unemployed than to work for what the market or evil Sambo Walton may dictate.

So when will the Mayor or council decide to just pass a law that spells out the hiring procedures of Wal Mart or any other evil nasty job-hirin', low-price-product sellin', fascist company?

I'll admit it:I look for deals. Yep, when I need some Charmin or Listerine or Boca Burgers or Evereadys or Windex or Keds, I try to find it the cheapest.
And don't deny it, you do too.
Sure, when it comes to genteel products like restaurant dining or wine or beer or diamond-encrusted tennis bracelets, I tend to look for quality and a local purveyor of goods. But when it comes to mass-produced, expendable consumer crap, I want it CHEAP!

Now traditionally the thinking has been that the unions that fight for the downtrodden, overworked slob also cause prices to inflate. This is a chapter from Econ 101 at Tri-C. But the new union line, according to the stiffs who write to the PD letters page, states that prices don't have to rise because of union employment. The solution, from what I've read, is so simple even a welfare mom from Glenville could understand it. '

Wal Mart can hire union employees if only they'd take LESS PROFIT.

Well I'll be danged. It's just that simple. This company that was started on the basic principle of making profit for those who started it should just quit with the whole 'free-market capitalist thing'. If only Wal Mart would make it company policy to just break even, we'd be all cool.

Heck, Cleveland has already proven that capitalism is only a theory, much like this 'evolution' thing. Cleveland owns lots of businesses for which residents pay alot of cash, and Cleveland pays those (union) employees really well to move lethargically and maintain a sad status-quo. And it's safe to say that this city is lucky to break even on any of its business ventures, let alone attempt to turn a profit. So altruistic are our civic leaders that they'll gladly squander loads of tax dollars to satiate every special interest group, minority group, union, and judge in town.

So thumbs-up to the flat-earthers who would stop this silly business venture from sullying the 'everything should be fair for everyone' attitude that makes Cleveland the great equalizer among rust belt cities. Maybe instead of a Wal Mart we could go and recruit a Cheesecake Factory or a Popeye's Chicken or an Auto Zone because those are the kinds of dynamic employers who have the good paying jobs and make our city rock. Michael Stanley could play for the grand opening and pass out a buck to every poor Clevelander who was wronged by the capitalist treachery of WalZilla.

So I'll continue to buy some of my consumer goods at Wal Mart because crap is crap no matter where you buy it. And if some little child starves tonight because I bought my toothpaste at a Megalomaniacal Super Destroyer Center, so be it...

Where's Mike 'Lily' White and Nate 'Greasy Palms' Gray when you really need them?

Maybe the city could sell the Steelyard site to China.
Would that mean that Wal Mart got outsourced?