Burning A Bridge
Penance. I think that's what they call it.
Penance.
I've been feeling good and selling a good chunk of wine lately. So what do I do? I figure I need to go out and punish myself a little bit. Perform some penance, that is.
So I won't slam them on my front page, but this is where I went to truly punish myself a bit.
I've sold a total of three cases of wine to this place over the course of three months. And of course the wine guy (we'll call him Judy) wanted me to come in and pour the wine in-store on a totally busy Wednesday night. NOT!
So I stood around on a snowy Wednesday in February and about two people came and tasted my wine.
So Judy calls me Thursday and asks me to come in on Friday and pour some wine at 4pm. No, he didn't offer to buy any more wine, he just wanted me to come and try to sell the SAME WINE I had sold him in February.
Quick Math Lesson
Total wine purchased by this store since inception: approx. $240
My commission at 8.5%: $20.40
Two hours in February + two hours today = $5.10 per hour.
Factor in the drive TWICE to and from my house = I am an IDIOT!!
I don't know if I've ever spent a more depressing two hours that I did this afternoon. The entire management team at this store is like a bunch of Mike Ditkas on Vicodin. Imagine hiring a bunch of guys who've spent their lives at corporate union grocery stores and then telling them, 'OK guys, let's build a faux-upscale gourmet market.' If you've spent your life running a Mickey D's, it's gonna be real tough to build a highfalutin bistro.
And to be certain each of these guys fancies himself a satellitle consultant for the flippin' Wine Spectator.
Classic comments included:
"Real smooth, but bitey at the end..."
"They're all too tart for me..."
"Do ya have a Merlot?"
and the never-miss classic,
"...Do you have the Rothschild Chardonnay? I mean Cabernet......I had it in Virginia once."
I'm sorry, did you mean the Lafite? Or the Mouton?
And I had the pleasure of watching three different store managers do their own grocery shopping. Purchases included, but were not limited to: One 24 pack of Miller Lite. Three (3) shrink-wrapped twin packs of Forest Glen Pinot Grigio. Two boxes (5 liters each) of Franzia Chablis.
The manager who bought the Forest Glen twin packs also bought three bags of shrimp chips. What the fuck do you do with huge amounts of insipid Pinot Grigio and shrimp chips?
The best was the big Eeyore-lookin' guy who used to work at POB in Pepper Pike. He tried my wines and then bought a single bottle of Crane Lake Merlot. Smooth move Eeyore.
Suffice it to say I'll be refraining from re-entering that store except under the most dire circumstances. Judy told me to call him when we get this super-special new wine in. Why? So I can spend the summer doing in-store demos for cranky old-timers and ten cent millionaires?
If you live in Chardon, Ohio or thereabouts, I beg of thee: Find a REAL wine store at which to shop. These guys are absolutely, positively, undeniably, indubitably and without a doubt CLUELESS.
Penance.
I've been feeling good and selling a good chunk of wine lately. So what do I do? I figure I need to go out and punish myself a little bit. Perform some penance, that is.
So I won't slam them on my front page, but this is where I went to truly punish myself a bit.
I've sold a total of three cases of wine to this place over the course of three months. And of course the wine guy (we'll call him Judy) wanted me to come in and pour the wine in-store on a totally busy Wednesday night. NOT!
So I stood around on a snowy Wednesday in February and about two people came and tasted my wine.
So Judy calls me Thursday and asks me to come in on Friday and pour some wine at 4pm. No, he didn't offer to buy any more wine, he just wanted me to come and try to sell the SAME WINE I had sold him in February.
Quick Math Lesson
Total wine purchased by this store since inception: approx. $240
My commission at 8.5%: $20.40
Two hours in February + two hours today = $5.10 per hour.
Factor in the drive TWICE to and from my house = I am an IDIOT!!
I don't know if I've ever spent a more depressing two hours that I did this afternoon. The entire management team at this store is like a bunch of Mike Ditkas on Vicodin. Imagine hiring a bunch of guys who've spent their lives at corporate union grocery stores and then telling them, 'OK guys, let's build a faux-upscale gourmet market.' If you've spent your life running a Mickey D's, it's gonna be real tough to build a highfalutin bistro.
And to be certain each of these guys fancies himself a satellitle consultant for the flippin' Wine Spectator.
Classic comments included:
"Real smooth, but bitey at the end..."
"They're all too tart for me..."
"Do ya have a Merlot?"
and the never-miss classic,
"...Do you have the Rothschild Chardonnay? I mean Cabernet......I had it in Virginia once."
I'm sorry, did you mean the Lafite? Or the Mouton?
And I had the pleasure of watching three different store managers do their own grocery shopping. Purchases included, but were not limited to: One 24 pack of Miller Lite. Three (3) shrink-wrapped twin packs of Forest Glen Pinot Grigio. Two boxes (5 liters each) of Franzia Chablis.
The manager who bought the Forest Glen twin packs also bought three bags of shrimp chips. What the fuck do you do with huge amounts of insipid Pinot Grigio and shrimp chips?
The best was the big Eeyore-lookin' guy who used to work at POB in Pepper Pike. He tried my wines and then bought a single bottle of Crane Lake Merlot. Smooth move Eeyore.
Suffice it to say I'll be refraining from re-entering that store except under the most dire circumstances. Judy told me to call him when we get this super-special new wine in. Why? So I can spend the summer doing in-store demos for cranky old-timers and ten cent millionaires?
If you live in Chardon, Ohio or thereabouts, I beg of thee: Find a REAL wine store at which to shop. These guys are absolutely, positively, undeniably, indubitably and without a doubt CLUELESS.
posted by BWIII | 8:27 PM
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